I'm nvr gonna feel any better until this whole convocation thing is over. Bcoz for as long as I'm still gonna see my former coursemates (we're bound to cross path on 7 Dec), the fire that's burning in me will nvr be doused! They'll always remind me of the screw-ups I had to go through during these 2 yrs!
The 2 yrs I was with Auston had costed me my health. At 28, I was diagnosed with SINUS (stress-related by the way) when I consulted the doctor for a terrible pain on my forehead that made me unable to even ruku' during solat coz it felt like someting heavy & sharp is moving along loosely in my head whenever I move my head, even to nod or shake !!!! I developed breathing problems (which btw is stress-related agn). The good thing is, if it wasn't for all these, I'd nvr learn to slow down. I decided to take it very very easy so that I will not breakdown. Talk of breakdown, I had a physical breakdown in Jul 05. Just cldn't get out of bed. Didn't sleep (at the most, 2hrs of sleep each day) for many days doing my final grad project, that 1 fine Sunday, my body just stopped functioning - I was temporarily paralysed. I didn't get off bed the whole Sunday! That was scary.
But I saw my well-wishers showing how much they cared...they ensured I take my due breaks (Nikky - thanks for this wallpaper!!), have proper meals, sleep sufficiently & peacefully. Not forgeting, my Mom's tender loving care during that period, otherwise, I doubt I'd recover so soon (3 days).
Today I tried to take things easy. I try to forget abt yesterday. Afterall, what happened wasn't within my control. I came home to find Auston's envelope on the table. My final grad project result has arrived...FINALLY! I opened it with vigourous heartbeat: 
Saw an "A" and heaved a sigh of relief! It's finally over! Wooohooo! I did it; I completed my academic education cycle (always wanted to complete it with a degree)...better still, with my own money w/o burdening my parents, who are orthodox by the way...after my O's, Dad told me: "A girl's place is eventually the kitchen, so no need to study so high". That's the reason y I stopped after my O's & started working. I took an oath not to trouble him...and henceforth, my future education will be at my own expense!
I thank..
1. My mom - For giving me the 3 MONTHS I asked for. She lived w/o me (practically) as I needed space & time in order to complete my project. If I've to keep entertaining her to go out to kill her boredom & attend to ppl's wedding, cukur rambut, engagement, b'day, etc etc ... chances is I won't see this day. I imprisoned myself in the room, coming out only to eat, bathe & wudhu. The TV missed me terribly!;
2. My sis - For the "conqueror paper" she donated to me so that I didn't have to buy special papers to print my project, it wld have costed me a bomb!;
3. My bro - For playing chauffeur @ 11pm despite being tired after work...to drive me (at Mom's request) to Mustaffa Centre on 7 Sep as my printer cartridge ran out just as I was 1hr away from the completion of printing my project & I also ran out of "conqueror paper" despite buying few more during the day..so the only store that is opened @ that hr was Mustaffa Centre! Was having migraine, thus wasn't abt to drive, was gonna take cab..but Mom asked Bro to help instead & he obliged (although he test-drove my car just a couple of times & hasn't driven the car for 8 mths! plus, he also has never driven to Serangoon..I think);
4. My dad (as tho he'll ever be reading my blog!) - For sponsoring $14 to pay for the binding of my 2 sets of project report. I was terribly broke, cldn't even afford to bind it...my report ended up thicker than the Quran, unexpectedly...too thick & costly to do a proper presentable binding (u know, the album type) as initially planned, so I just settled for a normal ring-binding!
5. My well-wishers - Nikky, Habibi Liah & Shera for living w/o me, leaving me alone (but still ocassionally checked on me to see if I'm still ALIVE) & waited patiently for end Sep knowing I'm all theirs once I submit my project!
0. (above all & He knows it!) Allah SWT - For granting me the TIME & HEALTH...without which the completion of my studies wld not have been possible.
The countdown begins...1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6...and 7 Dec...here I come!
PS:- I was expecting my results & graduation after I return from Langkawi as I wanted to free my mind & enjoy my vacation (in case I don't do well)...but maybe the Langkawi trip was meant to be my well-deserved reward, so now all's gonna be over by the time I leave for Langkawi on the 16th!!! Yipppeee! Finally can go to a beach to scream my lungs out! Hopefully they send me to Tg Rambutan! At least btr than living life here...in a mental asylum, no one will say anything if I start to sing & dance in public ala Bollywood style!

6 comments:
DATE: 11/30/2005 12:41:31 PM
wooooooooooooo hoooooooooooooo
awesome... i m glad all is well despite all the shits...
DATE: 11/30/2005 06:31:16 PM
WOW. You have achieved something that alot of ppl out there would be wishing they had it. A hard-earned degree is something to be proud of. It will definately add to ur assets. So why talk about being jinxed when you are blessed with knowledge and achieving what u worked so hard for. You're not jinxed, you're blessed. You're a fighter! You survived. Congrats!!!
So hopefully we can now see more of you....time to socialise!
DATE: 11/30/2005 07:03:07 PM
Alhamdullilah ...woooooooooh...you go gal.you've got what yeah deserved!Congrats...dont forget your treat for all of us...hahaha...njoy yourself at langkawi...you never know might just sneak up behind...to capture the bollywod dance routine..*ceeya*
DATE: 12/01/2005 04:07:13 AM
Tks Nikky, Tks Hajira, Tks Aneesha!
Nikky - I'm gladder!
Hajira - Hmmm...wat say we organise a get-together. U've not met Liah yet rite? Liah, ur hse very cosy ah, no disturbance, wat say a briyani session 1 of these days? Let the babies play together, we adults...JUST CHILL CHILL JUST CHILL...
Aneesha - I'll be @ Grand Continental Hotel...Hopefully there's a beach nearby for me to do a Salman Khan-Priyanka Chopra beach song "Jeene ki hai char din..ooooooo..." from Mujhse Shaadi Karoge. *winkz* Catch me if u can! ;p
DATE: 12/01/2005 04:25:10 AM
geez Sharb! I never knew u were not in contact with ur batch & have no knowledge bout it. For me, i was not send the invitation email either..i only got to know about it after Esther brought up the topic. I'm glad that my batch is much close-knitted and we r still in touch. Perphaps u might want to join us for our once in a while catching up on each other. So far we have 2 such gatherings already.
My FYP result just got mailed to me today & I got an A too!
So glad that we r going to graduate.. See ya at Convo!
DATE: 12/01/2005 08:28:12 AM
Congrats Lynn!
Errmm ... I wont be surprised if all got an A. I'm doubtful of the credibility of my A ...I'd prefer it if Shila or Jasen had marked it .. but I understand it was Susie Khoo (Shila's boss remember?), who became Academic Director. She look so nyonya I wonder if she's qualified enough to mark our projects!! Anyhoots...it's over...I'm keeping that A...so who cares! Hahaha..
I remember Esther!!! My "devil" buddy during Halloween! Hehehehe..Guess that Halloween-cum-my batch's farewell-party's 1 memory that I'll nvr 4get of my 2 yrs in Auston. Tks to Shila.
The reason y ur batch are close-knitted are bcoz they're not a bunch of hypocrites. Gd 4 u.
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