I hate being taken for granted. I hate ppl dump things on me or in my room! I hate being made a sacrificial goat. I hate this & I hate that. The best part is: I don't deserve this hatred in me!! I live my own life...I don't disturb anyone...so why do I have to live my life hating ppl!?
I came home @ 7.45pm...struggling wif a throbbing gum problem/toothache (can't wait for 6.30pm tomorrow for my dentist visit)...and when I opened my room door, I see the Power Rider near the door in the place of my towel/sejadah/telekong stand which has been shifted near my TV & my "relax chair" pushed in front...blocking my TV!! What the hell Mom!!!! When u wish, u take my Power Rider & put in the balcony for ur use (& bcoz of that I can't ride it anymore)...and when u want the space in the balcony for your rubbish...u shift it out to the living room against the study room's door!! And just bcoz u're expecting a delivery tomorrow & want that space, u conveniently dump the Power Rider back in my room...as u wish!!
Seeing my room in that state...I wasn't too happy...but I wasn't rude...I just questioned her "what's that thing doing there?!" (altho I know the answer...time & agn...I must accomodate "her darling daughter"!!!) After a while, I opened the door & told her if bro's home tomorrow or something, get him to throw the thing. She was shocked to hear that...throw? I told her "Yeah, I don't use it anymore for so long already what..."
I sat down in front of my PC...shortly after she opened my door loudly...took the Power Rider out of my room in anger & slam my door shut! Yeah...throw your temper at me la...when do u appreciate me anyways (when I die, send ur love tru the orbituaries...I'll read it up there!)!!
U know what sux the most?!? When u get that kinda treatment for no fault of urs!! I was very very very down...I was reading all the comments to my last few posts...read it agn & agn...but nothing registered in my brain! I'm too distraught that my Mom behaved that way wif me...when she's the one who stepped on my toe!!! I just feel like life is not worth living anymore (I love my Mom too much, I hate when she gives me the nasty cold treatment, if I nvr do anything wrong!).
I decided to go take my shower to cool down & then pray...I told myself "When there's no one else in this world worth living for, for Allah I shall live on..." After solat, I just sit on my sejadah, zikir & asked Allah for a couple of things...some for a Princess in need; some for myself. After that I just lay down in bed watching Sony...but was dozing off.
10pm I went out of my room (Mom lying down in the living room watching TV1)...forced myself to hav dinner wif the toothache. After dinner, brushed my teeth (wow!!! that's not routine man!)...and then made a conversation on the TV program she watching, juz to test if she'd ignore me...she didn't. Good...coz she shldn't!! I guess after doing wat she did...when I completely ignored her (if I'm in the wrong, I'll ask her "ait, marah?")...she realised that she was over-reacting!! Nobody asked her to remove the Power Rider there & then. I only told her that I don't use it anymore & if she doesn't want it already, get the boys to throw it downstairs.
I know she's stressed up & all...but I'm not the one causing her the stress...so I refuse to take such nonsense from her! I've my own stress to handle. We're adults, handle our own stresses! As it is, all my life I devote myself to her, but not even once she remember/appreciate my sacrifices & all the things I do for her. Yeah, so I've reached a pt in my life where I refuse to take nonsense for something I don't deserve.
Am I making sense?!? I dunno...I feel like I'm juz rambling nonsense. Think it's juz the ripple-effect from the nonsense thrown at me! So I shld juz quit & get some sleep. Tehzeeb juz gave me a cute "hug" via sms...which came juz at the right time!!!
I'll catch some sleep...
slept @ 4am yesterday coz was watching Krissh on DVD (had to do it secretly w/o Dad's knowledge...battle of the egos la!!). Will blog abt Krissh another time, insyallah...but all I wish to say here right now is: I keep getting reviews abt the movie being v. gd etc etc...so despite not liking Hrithik, thank God there was Priyanka instead of Preity, I survived watching it! Still don't like Hrithik at the end of it...but hats-off to his Dad - Rakesh Roshan - really genius!! Not ez to make a sequel to a hindi movie ok...this is the 1st or 2nd out of 3 or 4 hindi movie sequels happening today.
4 comments:
DATE: 08/28/2006 06:36:56 PM
hey gal...commenting in here after a long time...i told ya the prob. Well I am glad you did not raise voice at ur mom or said something wrong to her. I am sure you would have felt worst if that happened. I did the same thing when I was very mad with someone. I did my prayers and it helped. You did it right gal. Keep it up.
DATE: 08/28/2006 06:55:08 PM
:-)
DATE: 08/29/2006 08:09:56 AM
U'll get ur Prince soon... =)
*insha-allah*
order tramadol online without prescription can you buy tramadol online - tramadol to get high
Post a Comment