Spoilt day!

Not in the mood to talk abt this (most kept secret of my life for 4 yrs, of which I nvr blogged abt it or discussed it with anyone. Ppl who know just know something happened but dunno what actually happened that turned me into a beast!)...but since it affected me so much, I might as well get it out of my system!!

I went for my nephew's wedding today @ Yishun, which was supposed to be nice coz in that ONE wedding, I'm expecting to bump into so many fellow bloggers (some for the 1st time) who are somehow related to me. Bubu Hawa came personally to invite us...she turned up with her aunt (I forgot her name) sometime in Nov. Sat for quite a while, almost 2hrs, catching up on things, while waiting for her daughter & son-in-law to fetch her. She knows I've a reputation of not attending weddings as I'm an anti-social. I'm also selective abt the functions I go to, if the person is close to my heart, I'll go, otherwise, I'm usually absent. So she asked "abih kira kita ni rapat ke tak, dtg ke tak nanti?" No doubt we meet like not more than once a yr, but I think in all my Dad's nephews/nieces, Bu Hawa is 1 of the 4 who are closest to my Mom. Not to forget her mom, Mami Buang, who's soooo fond of Dad and us. She's really a darling, whenever we meet, she'll always hug & kiss us, something I'm not used to. I thought I've not seen her for years now, the last time she came more than 3 yrs ago I was doing my Degree & was out for class.

I have a wedding dinner (to be seated by 8pm) also tonight, Maslin's close fren. I had RSVP to attend the dinner with Maslin. However, bcoz Dad came back pretty late (just after 4pm), our scheduled got screwed. Thankfully Maslin's Mom going with her, thus if I cldn't make it in time, Maslin won't be alone, or I'll feel bad. Dad had his lunch & all before he did his asar & we all started to get ready, targeted to leave by 5pm. It started pouring heavily by the time we left, which was 5.15pm. Na jane kyun, the whole day I was having a bad hunch...had a slight h/ache, almost wanted to tell Mom that I'd like to be excused from joining, but I didn't wanna disappoint her. Of coz, I was having bad tudung day & all...which is v. normal whenever we're late for something. I can't be bothered to even re-do my tudung as Amsyar was making so much noise already...he's uncomfy with his kurta so we had to leave quickly before he gets crankier.

We reached just almost 6pm, w/o getting lost. When Sis is behind the wheels & I'm reading the map, we don't usually get lost. *wink* Bu Hawa was so pleased to see us. So was Mami Buang. The groom & bride looking gorgeous in red. The hall was full, but Bu Asirah & hubby gave up their seat for us since they were just sitting dwn & not eating, which was sweet. When I saw the briyani, I instantly knew it'll be nice. After I took my tea, someone approached me. I almost thought it was the bride, since she was in red. Hehe. Nay, it was Aysha. Not bad, she recognised me instantly...which confirmed that I look like Madhuri (can I have some cheap thrill please?! I already had a sucking bad day!)!! The day b4 while we were chatting, I had told her to look out for a Madhuri lookalike. The fact she approached the right person says it all right?!

Ok ok la...ok ok la...that's not the pt at all. Let's see, Farzana recognised me (saw Neelu in her princess outfit!), Aysha recognised me (finally got to meet her since we've nvr crossed path)...Hajira btr recognise me (she was bz parading but just when I was abt to leave the hall, I caught sight of her in her purple outfit - Hajira, trying to match your Honda Fit ke aper!?). Just as I stepped out of the hall, I saw a familiar face - Sarah. So I approached her to say Hi. The last time we crossed path @ Mustaffa, she recognised me but I missed her (don't expect me to notice anyone at Serangoon...I'm always in a hurry to leave the place, can't stand crowds), so we've told each other that if we cross path agn, approach. So I've met all my fellow blogger relatives alright.

While I was eating, Mom told me something fedup-ing. The woman I hate most (she's incurred my wrath!!) is present the wedding. She saw her as we were coming into the hall...but didn't immediately tell me, perhaps she thought I saw. Oh well, an incident happened in my life in 2004. This woman works in my workplace, but different dept. & she also stays near my place. For some reason, I had introduced her to my Mom, and they because v. close. So close she asked my Mom to babysit her newborn while she go back to work after her maternity to serve her resignation notice period. She was childless for 20 yrs b4 she finally got pregnant. I recalled my Mom used to advise her not to lose hope as she can stil conceive. Something happened and she & her hubby behaved in a rude & uncivilised manner which really hurt my Mom deeply. I remember I just started doing my Degree when all this happened. My grades dipped during that period as I wasn't able to concentrate (perhaps regretting introducing her to my Mom or maybe regretting allowing Mom to babysit her baby when Dad had said No), but I pulled myself through & got back my concentration. I made an oath to Allah that I'll nvr ever forgive her & her husband & don't ever wish to cross path with them or even their child. When Mom wld talk abt her child, I used to tell Mom "I don't give a shit whether she or her child is alive or dead"!! Which would sadden my Mom, saying the child did nothing wrong...bla bla bla. I told Mom that "you may forgive & forget...but don't expect me to do the same!". Mom knows my hatred for this woman. The best part is, she's the one who has wronged us, but she behaves as though we wronged her! Mother-f**ker betul! (Pardon my french). At work, everyone knows how much I detest her & wld nvr go to her dept. I take every caution to ensure that our paths nvr cross. But Allah doesn't love me perhaps, coz there has been couple of ocassions where our paths crossed. But I'd look through her or pretend I nvr saw her.

Now this is why I avoid Indian Muslim weddings. U just nvr know who u're gonna bump into. As far as I'm concerned, we're not closely related & thus I've not bumped into her at any of my relative's weddings. I've always feared that if I marry a fellow Indian Muslim, he might be related to her which will make it v. awkward. So the best is DON'T GET MARRIED sudah! For this wedding, Mom told me it's a combined wedding by both the groom & the bride. So chances is she cld be related to the bride's side. When Mom told me abt her presence, I was already cursing my fate. We all wld've loved to stay longer enjoy the music, but I didn't wanna see her face, so I told Mom "I'm ready when u all are"...which is a signal that I don't wish to stay any longer. So we quickly salam everyone & made a move.

Oh, a funny incident occured. As Amsyar insisted to be carried by me while we were looking for the groom's parents to salam/excuse ourselves, my cuz, Nana Din (Groom's Dad) probably confused me to be Sis (who's been fleshy after marriage & I've always been skinny) & vice-versa, commented to us: "you (Sis, thinking she's me) seem to be putting on weight, and you (Me, thinking I'm Sis) are losing a lot of weight now!" We were puzzled, looked at each other & I just answered "I've nvr been on the big side to begin with"...he just went "Really?"...and I just smiled & excused myself. Later on I understood, he probably thought I'm Sis since I was carrying Amsyar. But how can he even mistake us. My eyes would differentiate us, I'm fairer & I'm the one with make-up usually. Man, Amsyar's really making me lose my identity! Wonder how many cute guys wld've wanted to approach me but hesitated thinking I'm his mother! Damn!

The whole journey back I kept cursing myself. I even sms-ed to Maslin that I had a screwed up day having to cross path with the one I detest the most, she replied that I shldn't have gone for the wedding, but shld've come with her for the dinner. I don't know if I shld agree or disagree. When I think of how 1 wrong decision can spoil a day, maybe, just maybe, I shldn't have gone for the wedding...but how wld I know she'd be there right!? Must be from the bride's side la...

Anyways, since I cldn't make it for the dinner, we went to Carrefour for some shopping instead...otherwise known as RETAIL THERAPY to cool us down (In all this that happened, Dad is the only ignorant party as he didn't know abt this incident that took place...he didn't see the woman also anyways). Once home, Mom told me "what's wrong with that &$*#&...I smiled but she ignored". I questioned her "y u go & smile @ her!?". Of coz, I kena blasted back by Mom la! I really wasn't expecting Mom to be that civilized with her after what she & her husband did...but I forgot, she has a good heart, unlike me! But she told me "for behaving like that, she can expect me to give the same treatment the nxt time I ever see her in public agn!" I wish (have always wished but nvr come true since the last 4 yrs!) she wld disappear from the face of the earth! It'll make my life much easier. For now, I'll think thrice (thinking twice backfired!) before going to any Indian Muslim wedding!!

Those who read this will probably take some time to digest this discovery that I've so much hatred/bitterness in me. I don't see anything abnormal, I aint a saint. I'm sure everyone has their fair share of people they detest. If you don't, then I'm sure you won't be so forgiving to someone who has behaved rudely, insultingly & uncivilisedly to your Mom!?!? If you do, then hats-off to you! I remember for 5 long yrs, my family, colleagues & frens just can't fathom my hatred for this 1 particular person. 5 yrs later, they realise this person was nvr worthy of our love, and hatred is what he's worthy of. So people, Sharbina don't hate/detest people for nothing...as much as I welcome anyone who wishes to hate/detest me if I've incurred their wraths!

Come come...hate me!